Holiday parties can be so delightful!

Ally, Dixie and Anna

Last night a couple of my gal pals and I went to a holiday Christmas party, and it was quite the night. The party was hosted by a company that offers services to the doctors in the area where I live, since I work with these doctors I am also invited to the party. Of course when we go out we spare no effort in out attire, the gals and I were sharply dressed and looking great.  This is definitely the most fun part! Aside from the small group of people that I go with I don’t really know anyone else there, so there ends up being quite a lot more entertainment than the hired DJ.  One of my favorite things to do at a party like this is people watch. And there was an array of interesting behavior and attire.

Now, we have all gone to a holiday party at some time or another and there is always that person that seems to have been drinking too much, or sometimes we are the person who has been drinking way too much, but either way it isn’t a true holiday till there is someone dancing on the table or falling off their seat.  We can only hope that someone is taking pictures or video for those who accidentally drank enough to cloud or eliminate their memory functions. I did take a few pictures last night, but I didn’t manage to waste any digital film on the drunken entertainment, I just took a few to get some proof about how great we looked.
Last night we saw a  girl who resembled a drunk bunny rabbit, a guy who did a crotch grab while he was break dancing and the girl whose breast were very, well they were just huge, I don’t have anything clever to say, and everyone was staring at them not just me. I thought she would possibly give herself or one of us a black eye while she was bouncing around on the dance floor. Which happened to be a very dangerous place, not only did you have to watch out for rouge mega boobs flying at you , but there was also the guy who had to do the electric slide, but the opposite direction that everyone else was doing it. So while we were all watching our feet trying to get the steps down, all of a sudden you would be getting run over by a large man who didn’t seem to realize he was going the wrong way.

We actually saw a guy in a Rastafarian beanie and some sort of silk smock looking out fit, very interesting! He seemed to like the cherry cobbler. My favorite outfit of the night was a black sweater and blue jeans and the holiday cheer was found in the tall stripper style platform zebra print boots. In all fairness I was wearing a leopard print dress, so I don’t have much room to talk, how ever, I was trying to decide how the outfit was formulated. Did she just get off of work? Was she wearing the jeans and top and decide, hmmm how can I spruce this out fit up? Or maybe she was dared by a fellow co-worker?  How ever the boots came about, it was awesome!

The ones who really knew what they were doing were the people who just came for the free dinner and drinks, there was no effort in their holiday garb and as soon as the last bite of prime rib was consumed they were no where to be seen! They even ditched before the raffle! Too bad, cause they missed out on limousine rides and blue ray DVD players. After not winning the blue ray player, Ally promptly tells the man who did win it, that too bad the blue ray player will be obsolete soon because everything will be on USB players. Way to be a good sport Ally.

Ally, Dixie, Amy

Being the stars that we are some of us gals decided to do some karaoke, so a couple of us sang some songs and rocked the house, call it conceit, call it narcissism, but we were the best looking and the most fun at the party, we even managed to make a few new friends. So we mingled we drank we ate and we danced, we made polite conversation and we snickered along with the crowd as the drunk girl fell trying to sit in her chair but missing completely. This was the first of hopefully many holiday parties this season, I cant wait for the next event of merriment and intoxication.

 I went on a little exploring date with Roy, my number one Oregonian tour guide, and he showed me these way cool rock formations sprouting from the bed of Lake emigrant. They look kind of like pimple rocks pushing out of the crust of the earth. Unfortunately I am no geologist so this is as scientific as my theory gets. Well I have some other theories too but they aren't scientific at all. For instance, what if a family of gophers live below and they got the child gopher a trampoline for a gopher gift giving holiday. After all we cant be sure that gophers celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, it could be some other super cool holiday that people haven't even heard of! We all know that gophers wear hard hats so maybe he just got some really great air and made a couple dents in the ceiling. Okay, the main reason of this gopher tirade is kind of to see if you guys are paying attention. 

They lake was drained really low so Roy and I were able to drive the jeep quite a bit of the way. I have complete confidence in Roy's driving skills however we were on quite a steep grade and the sand was very soft. I did panic for a second, well a couple of seconds,  I thought we were going in the lake, I was leaning pretty hard against the grade. Oh and there was mud flying everywhere! I was trying to figure out if I wanted my seat belt on or off? I didn't want to be tumbled around and wind up breaking bones if we rolled, but I also didn't want to get stuck upside down in the water and drown to death because I couldn't disengage the seat belt. Of course I asked this aloud, I was nearly sure I was a goner. My trusty guide and experienced all terrain driver, who is quite the gentleman, assured me that the situation was under control. He was laughing and seemed pretty relaxed, this gave me some comfort. After surviving the treacherous voyage through the valley  of quick sand, we had a nice little walk along the lake we found several very interesting rock formations, they kind of changed shape and pattern and consistency as we walked around. These were the most interesting ones.

Roy thought that these were some kind of volcanically activated rock eruptions. I think that is probably just as likely as my gopher theory. So you guys tell me what you think? Have you seen these kind of rock formations before? Have any insightful theories of your own?  Also thank you Roy for a wonderful adventure and a lovely picnic date.

Today this is how I will cook eggs!

My brother and I woke up today and decided we wanted to make a traditional breakfast of potatoes and eggs.  So we got started and realized we only had enough oil to make the potatoes, or the eggs. A simple solution would have been to go to the store to get more oil. However I was in PJ’s and he having recently turned 21 was hung-over as he is often these days. It seemed we had already decided on a lazy day. So brother started the potatoes and I jokingly suggested using the grilled cheese sandwich maker, but the more I thought about it the better it sounded. So I thought what the hay, I will give it a shot. And it worked! So awesome! Triangle shaped over medium eggs cooked perfectly! And not even a mess, I don’t know if I will ever cook eggs any other way.

After breakfast we watched the movie FROZEN, it was awful! If I didn’t have enough reasons to never go snowboarding I definitely do now...I am just saying, it was awful!

I met a band!

Such nice dudes!

Awesome! So I stopped at the gas station on my way to WEED today and as I was waiting I saw a group of guys get out of an SUV pulling a little U-haul trailer. They had a very specific look about them. I instantly thought “they must be in a band” so while I was sitting in the car, waiting for my passenger to get back, I decided I couldn’t stand not knowing for sure. When my passenger got in the car I asked “don’t they look like they are in a band?” and my mom said “yeah they do.” Ok so the passenger was my mom it kind of makes this story less cool, but what ever!  So I got out of the car and walked over to them. Poor guys probably just wanted to get some coffee. So I asked them and sure enough, it was The Ragged Jubilee, on their way to do a show in Portland they told me. So I pulled out my handy dandy Samsung digital camera with a front LCD screen and snapped this Picture!

So I hadn’t actually heard of them before. So after this chance encounter I googled them. I listened to some of their stuff and I think its pretty good! www.theraggedjubilee.com check it out you guys!

Quality of life diminished by the risk of Cancer

I have been working in the health care industry for two years now, and I may be involved mainly in the front office workings, but I have learned a lot more than how to file records and submit insurance claims. Before I even sat at the reception desk in a doctors office I was prone to have hypochondriac delusions, for instance, the slightest pain in my side and I was sure that my appendix was rupturing and that I was about to die from the inside out. You would think that now, having worked in this field and seeing the rarity of these cases I wouldn't feel the dramatic urge to have my appendix removed before it would inevitably burst and kill me. I have on several occasions referred to my appendix as a ticking time bomb just waiting for me to go on vacation to a remote location with poor medical services and no cell phone range. This is just an example to illustrate how dramatically I value my health. However the only thing that I have found that has diminished my fear of dieing by sepsis due to my devious appendix leaking toxins into my vital organs, is my fear of cancer. It seems that this is a risk I face and the course of prevention is overwhelming!
So working in a wellness center, I am learning new and scary things every day. Once while using chap stick, the Doctor I work for said to me “What are you using? That has petroleum in it, it is toxic that is how you get cancer!” It was normal chap stick that everyone uses! I started wondering about my makeup, my lotions, soaps, hair products. The other day a man came in to the office and told me all about the chemical trails in the sky and how it was saturating our air with aluminum which is toxic. The latest scare I had was about birth control pills, I have been taking them for nine years, the Doctor I work for says that they are full of carcinogens that will give me breast cancer. Of course this is a terrifying thing to hear! I have read studies on both sides of that argument, here is the problem how can both studies be accurate if they say the complete opposite? I was talking to my girlfriend about it and she says “Well then you have two options, cancer or a baby, both are growths that you will have to learn to survive and live with.” Of course this is an awful statement but it has a bit of humor to it.
I am constantly bombarded with this issue as I am sure we all are. We all know someone who has or had cancer and it is a terrible affliction on the world. It seems prevention is key but how many plastic containers do you have to avoid, how much of the smoggy air can we filter, are there toxins in our fabric softener? The questions go on and on! I find myself spending so much time reading labels and questioning my deodorant, and I don’t mean if its doing its job and keeping me from smelling offensively. I feel like my obvious choices of cancer prevention aren’t good enough any more! I don’t smoke, I don’t eat processed foods, I stay away from MSG what ever that is. I don’t play with radiation and I try to avoid anything with a bio hazard symbol on it. I have a predisposition to worry frantically about my health and well being, so working in the healthcare industry has brought to light so many more worries for me! But worry in its self is a stress illness that causes other health problems! Outrageous! So here is the deal, I love fabric softener and I really doubt that something with a cuddly teddy bear as a mascot is going to give me a tumor that eats my insides, and if it does what is my quality of life with out soft fluffy towels? It is the duty of humanity to survive, whether it be black plague or small pox, or the toxins in our Evian bottles. Darwin said It was the survival of the fittest , so only the strongest of us shall survive the torments of the Snuggle Bear and hair gel!

Very first Blog For Me!

I was looking for an opportunity to begin writing and publishing my work, it seems like this should be a great way to start. I have often been told that my humorous view is entertaining while enlightening at the same time. Hopefully I can just relay my usual banter of life and adjust my skills as a writer. I say adjust because I don't necessarily have enough modesty to assume that my skills need improvement. Just a few tweaks here and there to get them more perfect. I am sure my grammar could use the influence of someone who is highly anal to criticize and evaluate every error that I might blunder through. I happen to think that if i make my point in a sequence of words and symbols that is clear to the general audience then I have done well enough. So if you are agitated by my conjugated tense, then I have a rude and naughty proposition for your preposition. Stick it where you like...
I am also hoping this will be a great outlet for me to get some of my devious energy out, because while I am sure that my friends do truly enjoy my rants and raves, I am sure that they need a break.